,dean

To Dean Winchester,

Years and years ago a sudden emotion erupted within me, as I think long and hard about that day, I realize how much has changed, not only in me but in you too. My life only consisted of grief, loneliness and misery; and honestly I never thought I’d be standing here today. Seven years ago for the first time in my life I heard a life changing quote, and that was “Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”.

Dean Winchester, you have ruined me and saved me countless times and I have no words that can fully express how much I adore your existence. From the moments you cracked sarcastic jokes and made me laugh with your obvious movie references, and to the moments where you made me bawl and wail like the baby I am, everything has helped me become a better version of myself. In the beginning I worried for you and I used to constantly yell at you to ‘stop!’ before you ended up hurting yourself, in the end my screaming was all in vain and you still pulled off your disastrous stunts anyway. You’ve killed, murdered and slaughtered every monster and demon that came in your way, you lost absolutely everything because of them, even Sam. But somehow your strength always brought you back up and helped you survive, and I’m simply bewildered by that. Seeing you struggle and never lose hope helped me understand so many things and it made me root for you even more. I always wished for your happiness, even when you died (the very first time!) And were sent to hell I was in utter shock and I did not think I would recover, but even death couldn’t stop you from protecting the ones you love, especially Sam. Dean, even after all these years you have surprised me every time! You’re willing to sacrifice yourself with every breath you take and my God it amazes me! How? Just how can someone be so selfless and good?. I look up to you, it’s strange how much I connect to you but even I know that you are much more confident, braver, and strong willed than I can ever be, but because of you I’ve learned so many things that I should’ve appreciated a long while ago. I’ve learned to love music (‘Zeppelin rules!’), I’ve learned to adore and savor food even more, I’ve also learned to love and cherish my family even more, but most of all I’ve learned to finally accept myself the way I am. You and your brother have become demons, vampires and also vessels for the most powerful entities that could exist, but somehow you two have always remained true to yourselves and you never let anyone change who you are, and that my friend is a fine characteristic that I’ve applied on myself. You’ve helped me strive and polish my personality in the process too, simple words and gestures by you were enough to make me adore you even more! And words that seem normal to others have several different meanings to me; for example: bitch, pie, angel, brother, and last but not least, family. And its all because of you.

Staying with you for all these years has taken its toll on me, and a life without you just feels like a void where no source of life can ever exist, you’re family Dean, you’re my family! and all I know is I’m not going anywhere until you finally settle down and just CHILL for once!.

My Dear hunter, I thank you.

Sincerely,

Gul.

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